Tuesday, April 25, 2006

whew--it's been a while.

I really don't know what i meant by that line but it seems appropriate. Perhaps I'm trying to treat my blog as an old friend who I just ran into at the 24Hour Diner at 1:30am. So i'm fighting that and instead saying hey...blog...you is my beeyatch. i don't owe you nuffin.

Let me begin with some thoughts on absinthe.

The green fairy...Oscar Wilde once said "after the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. after the second, you see things as they are not. after the third, you see things as they really are...and that is the most horrifying experience of all".

and its hangovers are killers. leaving you longing for the good old days of mere headaches and listlessness. you wake up 4 or 5 times throughout the night and roll over...or, rather, think you roll over...but quickly realize you're still in the same spot. rather disorienting.

All that being said, now you know the state of mind i'm in right now. I suppose i should say that it wasn't thujone-infused absinthe. I know, i know, kind of deceptive to talk about it and only be drinking the "pussified" legal kind...but still it's strong as anything, mixed with sugar which opens the capillaries and hits you harder, and there's...just something else there.

Okay okay. enough about absinthe. there are more pressing matters here

like...uhm...well there's that...wait...wait, no...

ok so maybe nothing on my mind is all that pressing so i'll bring you up to date with my life.

  • Soon to begin playing a once-a-week jazz gig at this Swanky-as-hell steakhouse in the historic district.
  • Single now...look out ladies...haha right....
  • Soon to begin a weekly-update webcomic type thing. Updates to come.
  • CD to be out soon for my band No Cats in America. Updates to come.
  • Updates coming...updates to come.

That's about all for now. I'll leave you with this quote that's been running in my head ever since Easter and i've for some reason been bombarded by religious B.S.

"When the pain is great enough, we will allow anybody to play doctor"

now...how many churches do you see in destitute neighborhoods?

Friday, March 17, 2006

Oppressed Citizenry, The time for revolt is now!

well...maybe later.

why is it that, no matter how far the american people are pushed, no matter what atrocities are done by our dicktator in chief, no matter how much it is outwardly, obviously shown that not one soul in washington gives one goddamn about any one of us, that we do absolutely nothing.

katrina: i got really really excited. i mean REALLY excited. don't get me wrong, i feel very strongly for everybody who lost their lives, loved ones, or everything they held dear...all because of a botched government response. the things that got my blood boiling and kicked my "revolution?" gland into overdrive were the man-on-the-street interviews that tv stations had. you would see a black mother of two up to her knees in water shouting at the camera "we are dying! where is the help?! this is america!!" you would hear these voices and it would catch your attention. because, even though it could be pushed aside merely as voices from the downtrodden populus (DC: "they don't give us money, why should we care?"), if you really looked through the tv...really looked at this people...you could see the fire in their eyes. you could almost hear a quieted, slow chant of "revolt! revolt! revolt!"

i got excited.

i would spend late nights in a diner with my friend/drummer, and we would stare through our cold cups of coffee, and we would half-smirk and say to each other "it's coming, dude...it's fucking coming...all they need is to all get together in DC". if everyone affected by katrina had congregated on the white house lawn, or by the steps of the capitol...or, hell, even just had a picnic near the jefferson memorial, the world would have cocked its head and payed attention.
am i the only one who thinks it's absolutely hillarious that we had to accept aid money from great britain? and that, to this day, the fund-raising nonprofit charities are funneling all sorts of money into new orleans. how long ago did this happen??
it's all well and good to hear G-dub ramble aimlessly about america being the greatest country on earth, but if we can't even make sure that we're safe from water, how can we honestly fight a war against people who honest-to-goodness want to blow us up.

thomas jefferson said that, in order for the US constitution to work, there should be a massive overthrow every 20 or so years. we're long overdue.

Which brings me to the reason i'm posting today.
it's st. patrick's day and, also, the day that V for Vendetta drops its bomb on the viewing public. I am captivated. all i know about it is that there is a man in a mask who fights against a totalitarian government and says things like "a government should be afraid of its people" in the previews, and that's all it took for me to have to go change my pants. i am psyched. no, i am super-psyched. this already looks like it's going to be a blockbuster just based on the action and writing/directing credits (the matrix guys). and if that kind of wake-up call reaches millions, there's got to be at least thousands who are pissed off enough to have that be the match thrown in the kindling box.

i really, honestly wonder sometimes, if g.w. knows how many people there are in this country who are screaming for his blood to be spilled. a 34% approval rating? meaning that 66% of people in this country think he's not doing his job.

listen to me very carefully:
there are 296,496,649 of us
there are 435 reps...100 senators... and one president

what level of injustice will it take for our people to realize these numbers?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hey boys and girls, i'm sick and decided to extrapolate on the idea of Teletubbies at midnight inbetween smoke breaks. yay!

seriously...teletubbies...listen up...

we all know probably more than we'd like to admit about this series. there are the four principle characters, Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-laa, and Po. they jump around and entertain stoners and infants, and have televisions on their stomachs which show them british children counting firetrucks, or rolling down a hill. let's start with the characters and deconstruct them. first, and most controversial,

Tinky Winky.

Why the controversy? His purse...his inverted triangle...his being purple...his wearing a
tutu... to escape this gender-bending topic, a lot of people say "tinky winky isn't a man, it's an 'it' ". however, in all of the narration, books, etc... he is specifically referred to as a he. people ask "is tinky winky gay?" the answer is: he might be...but it doesn't matter. he is definitely the personification of a lot of flamboyant stereotypes. the point, as you'l realize later, is that he is meant to represent "gay", not what his preference is. confused? keep reading


Tinky Winky being gay isn't even the beginning of our trip down the rabbit hole. now we must turn to issues of race. the next most obvious example is Dipsy. Study the faces...honestly look at their faces and compare them all sometime. Dipsy's complexion is everso slightly darker than the rest of the group. what signifigance is this?...on its own it doesn't seem like much, but let's look at other evidence.
the hat: cowhide pimp hat that he puts on. when he puts on the hat, he dances. when he dances, funk music plays (i'll explain now that a lot of things i refer to that you might ask "how do you know?" are because i watch with closed captioning on, and it says things like "funk music plays". when i make an impossible statement, i'll put (cc) next to it, meaning i found about it through reading the captions). so you have a darker character that puts on a cowhide hat and dances to funk music. gee, you tell me what that's supposed to represent. i won't even get into the symbol on his head bearing a striking resemblance to a certain part of male anatomy.

Laa Laa

Now, Laa Laa is the least strong of the arguments i can make, so i'll make it here, in the middle. she's kind of air-headed, there's a curly-q on her head--it's my belief that she is meant to represent your typical, blonde girl. i don't suppose they could do much to outwardly make her appear as a white person (the brainstorming sessions must have been so easy for tinky winky and dipsy), so she's just kind of ditsy...maybe they should have called her ditsy.


Po is, by far, the easiest nut to crack. All you need to do is turn on closed captioning. there are episodes which are very Po-centric, where her speech appears to be babytalk, nothing more than gibberish. on the good ol CC, however, it reads:

[Counting in Cantonese]

This is actually what got me started in the whole arena of analyzing children's shows. I read that one day and thought...cantonese...now, surely, that was no accident. so i sat down and actually payed attention to one episode, and it all started to make sense. she's shorter than the rest...she speaks in cantonese...maybe she's meant to represent asians somehow? right about the time i was forming all of this in my head, the right honorable arsehole Jerry Fallwell was attacking Tinky Winky for being one of those evil gays i've read about in the papers. you know, those "New York" papers...if you get my drift...

OK. first obstacle cleared. we understand the cast. they are meant to represent the ideas of:

  • gay
  • black
  • asian
  • ditzy blonde

Now before you start to form opinions in your head of me as an individual of questionable mental health, i'll repeat that i do not really think that dipsy is black, tinky winky is gay, etc.... the creators simply used easily relatable visual cues to convey a message to the infant viewing.
what is that message? that these four, rather different individuals can live together and play. now i'm not going to get all preachy on you about world peace--i'll leave that to damn dirty hippies--what i'm trying to do is untie the knot that the creators have tied.

Oh, sidenote, before i go further--the NooNoo

and you must say "the Noo Noo". In the show, that's how it is related to. here, we have an autonomous machine that looks after the four and cleans up their messes. we already have established that the cast is a metaphor for the varied times in which we live--now, let's look at the social aspects of it. they coexist very peacefully with a machine of superior technology. it has personality, a mind of its own sometimes, and is generally accepted as a "member of the family". however, it is always referred to as "the Noo Noo". this is a clever language device used to differentiate it as being an object, rather than a being. it must have taken careful planning to pull all of this off, and i applaud the creators.

now, back to the matter at hand...we have established a stereotypical depiction of different peoples of the world, put in such a way as to convey this idea to the developing mind. we have also seen how they can easily assimilate technology into their family unit and become on very good terms with it. let's take a look outside the tubby compound.

let's call it "tubbyland" yeah...i like that...tubbyland.

  • inhabitants: lots of f*cking rabbits
  • wild life: grass
  • principle energy source: baby-in-the-sun
  • cheif export...wait...go back one...what's that last one say?

That's right, there's a baby in the sun. the sun. there's a baby there. in the sun. and it's giggling. that's got to be a sign of the second coming, right?

well...i'll admit, it took the better part of a year for me to figure this one out, and the closest i've gotten is this:

infants, even farther along in age than that baby up there, can relate to the image of a baby's face and say "that was me" or rather "that looks like what i looked like". don't forget about the incredible learining power that such a mind holds...it can certainly grasp this simple idea. now the baby looks down at the group and laughs. it approves, on a certain level, with everything that is happening. the infant is supposed to watch this show, see that a baby is looking down on a world where all different kinds of people and machines can get along and have a blast, and approve of it--take it in as a passive observer (i'm not about to go quoting Lyotard, but read up on postmodernism sometime).

which brings me to my concluding statement:

i have way too much free time

OK so this is my first blog. I can't even begin to imagine how many blogs have a first blog that begin with "ok so this is my first blog". as a result, this is the last time i will say the words "blog" "first", or "ok" in this post.
blog blog blog bloggy bloggy blog, ok? first blog, ok?! ok. first blog. blogging the blog is ok, but first blogs on a blog are the bloggiest blogs ever to be blogged.
whew! got that off my chest

the more alert readers might have noticed right off the bat, that i don't write in what can be called the "typical" style of ...web logs (ha, i gotcha). i capitalize what i think is important (meaning i don't just go around capitalizing my i's all the time). i spell things correctly. i know how and when to use contractions. i even know a little html. so, you're in for a fun time! (see how i didn't say "your", or "youre" there? it's fun to be right!)

also i guess the parentheses thing will get a bit old after a while, so i'll try to limit myself. it's something i've done since i was little and discovered the awesomeness of The Bracket. "what? you can put a sidenote inside of another sidenote? brilliant!!"

so i've kind of introduced myself, or rather, my style of writing. now i'll expand on what this blog will deal with:

  • Crazy Christians
  • Children's Television
  • Friends and acquaintences
  • Politics, revolution, and the many follies of our dictator-in-chief
  • hah...i just said dick and 'tater
  • bullets are awesome
  • How to deal with being an artistic intellectual in a society which values neither trait
  • pop culture references

So I think i'll leave it off here and let the rest of my posts speak for themselves. y'all have fun now, hear?